Episode 1 – 6th March 2023


How to make therapy more enjoyable


“And there are things that I think do matter when it comes to finding the right therapist. The first one is a therapeutic fit. Is this person the right person for me in this environment? At this time? They are not your friend, they are your therapist. The therapeutic fit isn’t a friendship fit. They have to be someone who you feel is a good partner for you in the work you’re going to do for yourself.”


Episode Keywords:

Therapy, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Right Therapist, Overcoming Stigma, Self-Awareness, Coping Skills, Communication Skills, Better Relationships, Humor in Therapy, Enjoyable Therapy, Judgment-Free Environment, Trust and Safety, Therapeutic Fit, Treatment Expertise, Therapy Approach, Personal Preference, Setting Goals, Therapy Routine, Vulnerability

Episode Summary

Welcome to Reboot, where we reimagine mindset, mindfulness, and mental health from the perspective of someone who gives and gets therapy. In this episode, we dive into why therapy doesn’t have to suck and how to get the most out of it. We discuss the importance of finding the right therapist, overcoming stigma and shame, and the various benefits of therapy like increased self-awareness, improved coping skills, enhanced communication skills, and better relationships. We also explore how humor can play a beneficial role in therapy and share tips for making therapy more enjoyable and effective. Join me on this journey to improve our overall well-being and become the best versions of ourselves.

Watch the episode

Read the
blog post
inspired by
this podcast

Episode Transcript


G’Day, and welcome to this episode of Reboot. You’re thinking the podcast reimagining mindset, mindfulness and mental health from the perspective of someone who gives and gets therapy. This is episode one. Each episode, I’m going to present some content on the theme of that episode that is evidence based, research based. And also real life examples from a life lived giving, both giving and getting therapy. I’m gonna include a recent peer reviewed academic paper related to the topic that we’re talking about each day and then also some tips on how to implement the strategies that are covered in each episode in the week following listening to the episode. So for you guys and and for me to put into action.



So this episode is going to be why therapy doesn’t have to suck. And it’s coming from somebody who has been through a few therapists and at least two of those actually made things a lot worse, actually made me a lot less healthy and Yeah. I did a lot more harm than good actually. So yeah. So that’s the perspective this comes from and how to how to get the most out of it if you’re going choose to engage in therapy with someone how that happens. The best and what and and what you can put into it that you can then obviously get out of it at the other end. So first thing that makes therapy suck is having the wrong therapist. You know, and for a lot of people who, you know, who I say might be the best therapist for you is what I think, you know, is turns out not to be that for you. This happens quite a lot. A lot of people refer people to me as the therapist and and it might not work out for whatever reason. We work that out pretty quickly that, you know, I am the wrong person. I’m the wrong gender. I have the wrong experience. Whatever it might be. And it’s better to work these things out. You know, before you start, or certainly in the first sort of session or second maybe, then work it out down the track and and realize that a lot of harm potentially is being done. So to be able to find the right therapist is actually really important and the right one might not be the very first one obviously, that you choose. It certainly wasn’t with me, but but my therapist now who is amazing and who I hope to have on here one day. On a session is, you know, is the right person for me? Is the person who is my person? And I think that’s that’s a really important thing to be able to find. We’ll talk a bit more about that.



Today, the second thing that makes therapy suck is the stigma. And the shame of even being in therapy. So for a lot of people I mean, even now in twenty twenty three, I guess it’s a lot more, talked about it’s a lot more, you know. People will refer to, oh, my therapist says this or when I was in counseling, they said this or, you know, or or they might say, I I really think I need some counseling. I think I benefit from that or whatever. And obviously, even maybe four or five years ago, that wasn’t really that talked about or suggested and stuff. So I think the the more and more we get around this stigma and the shame of actually putting our hand up. The more, you know, appreciative of that sort of therapeutic influence over our lives we can have. And The the initial thing, sort of, people think about oh, I’ve switched to that.



The initial thing I think about when I think about shame in therapy or shame in getting therapy and receiving therapy is about blood. It’s about, dude, it’s not not not wanting it or or feeling bad. But that’s not and and that is true, but it’s not entirely true. It’s not, you know, it’s it’s not something that’s exclusive to males only that, you know, people don’t want to know don’t want others to know that they are receiving therapy because, you know, then they’re gonna have to say, why? And a lot of that stuff is just between you and your therapist. There’s a lot of things that I know of my clients that nobody else knows. And I think that’s the power of it, you know, to be able to share something that’s really bothering you and has been for some time or to work out what that thing is that is really bothering you and has for some has been for some time is really important. And to be able to do that in a safe and non judgmental and private and confidential environment is is super important. And that’s a way to get around that sigma and and and the shame. Pretty pretty quickly. So yeah.



The third thing is the third thing that makes therapy sucky is a perceived lack of progress. Sometimes, you know, things take time, things that are deep seated and have been with us for a long time. Take a long time to pick the scab off. And then once the scabs picked off, you’ve got to do the work. And then once they do the work, you’ve got to solidify that and you’ve got to consolidate And all of this stuff takes time.



And for a lot of people, they want, you know, the silver bullet. They want the switch flicked that can make a lifetime worth of trauma and pain go away and and it’s just not going to. And so some of it is being able to manage your expectations around things. Some of it is being able to being honest and open up front, right from the start. But, you know, that lack of progress can be very frustrating for people and it can turn people away after one or two sessions if they don’t feel like their stuff is fixed. In that time.



So, you know, for a lot of people that might be, again, the manage of expectations. For a lot of people that might be bringing a list of things that they want to see and little changes that they want to make. But overall, I think it’s more often just a case of knowing that it’s not going to go away overnight. You didn’t get sick overnight. So the likelihood is that you’re not going to get well overnight either. And you go do the work. You know, you hear that phrase a lot in therapy. You’re gonna do the work. I’m doing the work. And the reason that it’s so prevalent in this environment is because it’s so important. People have to do the work. Otherwise, it’s not gonna change. If you don’t change, you know, if nothing changes, nothing changes. It’s true enough. So that’s that’s a big one.



Something else that makes therapy suck is sometimes people come into it thinking that you know, whatever I have to fix is the therapist is gonna know this. And so the therapist was telling me what to do and how to fix it. A lot of people leave therapy or at least get frustrated by being if they’re because the therapist doesn’t just tell them what to do. And, you know, I have a lot of clients who will say that to me. Like, just tell me just give me some advice, just tell me what to do, and and that is absolutely not what I do. I will never ever ever tell clients what to do or give advice because If I do that, then they’re just putting into place the decisions that I want them to. They’re just making my changes. They’re just taking up my suggestions. They’re not coming at that themselves. And so two things happen with that. They become us. They they make the choices that we would and then they live our life, or they’d make the changes that we want them to make, and they’re not the ones that they wanted to make, and so they’re not sustainable. And it just doesn’t, you know, work out going forward. So I think that’s really important too is knowing that the therapist probably won’t tell you. Certainly, if you’re my client, won’t tell you what to do or or what changes to make. But we as therapists can make you appreciate what you need to do, the changes you need to make, and that’s way, way, way more powerful in that.



Another thing that makes therapy suck for people is the cost. So in in Australia anyway. There’s very little that can be rebated by from therapists and counselors, sometimes from medical professional, like, you know, psychologists, mental or social workers, things like that, things that are done through your EAP program at work. Potentially can make give you some money back. But overall, it’s a cost. It’s an investment that you need to make in yourself that’s not It’s not coming back to you. It’s certainly not in money. Right? So for a lot of people, the cost is prohibitive and and that’s totally understandable. You know, for a lot of people it’s not on the top of their list, there’s, you know, rent to pay and there’s mortgages and there’s rates and there’s kids school fees and there’s food and put in petrol in the car and all these other things which are on top of it, which is totally fair enough.



So the way that I look at therapy that I receive as a as a patient, as well as that I give as a therapist is, it’s a luxury in in terms of, you know, it’s it’s something that’s that’s that’s paid for with money that’s leftover. And so for a lot of people, unfortunately, that that that isn’t available to them. And and there are, you know, three different different free opportunities and and low cost opportunities. But sometimes it’s a it’s a case of reorganizing reorganizing finances and reorganizing priorities such that, you know, you you are able to engage in therapy with the person that you want to engage in it with. Something that I think does help and that I think about a lot when I’m paying my own therapist is, well, this is, you know, what’s the lifetime value of this payment? You know? Like, okay. It’s it’s it’s x amount of dollars for the hour session or whatever, but what could potentially happen in this hour that’s going to save my life, that’s going to change my life, that’s going to change the life of people around me, about my family, my relationships with people, my success in life, whatever I deem that to be. You know, that is really important that the lifetime value of that is is surely going to far exceed whatever money I’m I’m paying the therapist and that’s somehow a way that I sort of rationalize that and intellectualize that to make it to make it worthwhile for me.



Something else that makes therapy suck then is just this the feeling of feeling judged or or criticized or what we think a therapist is going to say or think or feel about us when we unload all of our shit during a session. And and if you’ve got a therapist. Certainly, if you’ve got the right therapist, that’s not gonna happen. You know, therapy has to be judgment free zone. It has to be criticism free zone. There has to be a a sense of positive self positive regard for for your client, for you as the client, that is never gonna change. It’s never going to, you know, feel judged. I I don’t I don’t judge anyone who who’s sitting across from me, unloading their staff. I don’t judge any of them for any of it. You know, if for no other reason, then quite often I’m judging myself for my own shit far far harder, you know. And so that’s always going to win and that that self judgment is always gonna win over that. So, you know, I think this a lot in in just in society too that we’re worried about what someone’s gonna think or say about us. But in reality, that person is so consumed with their own shit that they’re not there’s just you know, it’s very unlikely that they’re thinking of your thinking about your judge and you. And if they are, they’re probably just side stepping their own shit anyway. So, you know, I feel like if you’ve got the right therapist and you’re doing the right work, then feeling judged or criticized won’t be won’t necessarily be part of it anyway. So that’s what makes therapy suck.



And I think it’s worth also discussing what are the benefits then? What are the what are the the positive outcomes of therapy that we can that we can aim for given that there are a few things that people think, suck about it. Or are going to stop people being involved in it. The first one is just an increase to self awareness. You know, to be able to know yourself better. Is a is a huge benefit of of therapy. And that’s a benefit that that exist just outside of you too, you know. It’s a benefit for everyone. If you’re if you’re more self aware, if you’re more aware of your own shit, your own triggers, your own responses, your own trauma, then you’re going to be so much better to be around. Harm to be in relationship with, to be a parent of, to be a child of, you know, to be friends of. It’s self awareness is is really key. And and for a lot of people, sometimes when you’re in the throes of a mental illness or or disturbance to your mental health, It can also disturb your your level of insight into what’s going on and into your own coping of that. But also into your own exacerbation of those things. So, you know, increased self awareness is definitely a very big bonus of therapy as is.



An improved ability to cope improved coping skills is a really good outcome of therapy too. It’s something that you know, a lot of people don’t necessarily expect they’re gonna get, but they will. They’ll be taught things. They’ll learn things. And in that increase self awareness even is a is a hoping skill for that. So you will be taught in therapy how to how to how to deal with the shit that comes up, why it comes up. What stupid things we do because it comes up. And also how to celebrate the really good things that you do and that you achieve along the way. That are, you know, that are helpful in coping as well. So improved coping skills is definitely a benefit of therapy.



Increased communication skills, enhancing how you communicate is a really good sense a really good thing that comes out of therapy. You know, I I use words and phrases a lot in my therapy with clients and I will I was gonna say I don’t let them, but that’s not true. I discourage my clients from using words some words and phrases too. For instance, I never talk about crazy or, you know, mad or whatever word you wanna use. We we try not to use that word in therapy about ourselves. I try and make sure people are speaking positively about themselves to me as much as possible. You know, words have power. I say that over and over and over again in my therapy with clients so that, you know, we don’t say things that are limiting to us. We don’t use terrible language about ourselves. We try and communicate better with with the world and also with ourselves and with the world about ourselves. These these things are really important.



And in in inherent communication skills is definitely something that comes out of therapy. And and and out of that comes an increased self esteem. How we feel about ourselves, how we speak about ourselves to others. You know, all of those things are going to determine our level of self esteem. And even if you’ve been through some really hectic shit and you haven’t dealt with it so well in the past and you don’t really think that highly about yourself or whatever it might be that affects your self esteem. Therapy will be a way in which you can increase that self esteem to a much more positive level, including where you draw your esteem from. So, you know, for a lot of people, you know, I see people who at traumatized all the time or recovering from trauma all the time, and they will try and get draw a steam from stuff from people, from houses, from cars, from expensive, jewelry, from whatever it might be, trying to get there steam from outside as opposed to trying to draw their steam from within. And so something that therapy is really good at is being able to remind people draw their esteem from within, like, work out what makes them proud of themselves, work out what makes them speak speak and feel, and be positive about themselves. You know, that’s that’s really important.



Better relationships and better friendships are definitely a benefit of of therapy. For a lot of people, they go through therapy when they have a break relationship breakdown. Or a friendship breakdown. And so for a lot so so for them, certainly, they’re going to be able to build better relationships with friendships after that through therapy because their their specific stuff that’s happening in that acute situation is going to come up, and they’re going to be able to work on that stuff that has changed their relationship or their friendship in the past. But the truth of it is that if you increase your self awareness, you increase your coping skills, if you increase and enhance your communication skills and your self esteem, you’re going to be better to be around. You’re going to be better to be in relationship with. You’re going to be better to be a friend of. You’re going to be a better friend. Right? Because, you know, you you suddenly not leaching on to everyone else. You’re not requiring somebody else to esteem you. You’re not requiring someone else to cancel and therapy because you’ve got a professional doing it for you. Like, these things are really important so that your friends don’t have to do that. So that your husband’s and wives and your children, your parents don’t have to do that for you. You’ve got someone to do it for you so you can go back just into being the role of being the friend, being the son, the daughter, the wife, the husband, the mom, the dad, and not having to be the counselor or having to be counseled by somebody. So all of those things are real benefits of therapy as is obviously reduce symptoms of mental illness or you disturb it’s in mental health. So that’s an obvious one I think which is, you know, obviously, going to help you move forward and and and be be the better version of yourself too.



Talked a bit at the start about, you know, the importance of finding the right therapist. And there’s things that I think do matter when when when it comes to finding the right therapist. And and the first one is a therapeutic fit. So is this person the right person for me in this environment? Now that might not saying are they the right person for me to be made with or to work with or or to be married to or whatever is a different fit. And and you’d be surprised how how how should I say this how ill fitting I would be as some of my clients’ friends than I am as their therapist. I’m lucky that my lucky fortunate, I don’t know, odd, that my therapist, I could also see being really good friend of mine too and and he kind of is. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Right? The therapeutic fit isn’t a friendship fit. It’s it’s someone who you feel is a good partner for you in the work you’re going to do on yourself. That’s really important.



The second thing is trust and safety. You know, to be able to trust somebody that they’re not going to hurt you, that they’re not going to take what you’re what you’re saying to them and hurt you with it, that they’re not going to spread around the joint. You know, is is important too, that you can trust in someone enough to be able to go. Alright. Here’s the really ugly shit that’s from deep inside me. What are you gonna do with that? You know, that’s that’s important. That trust and safety is is super important to being able to find the right person to give you the right amount of therapy, the right type of therapy and the right amount for them.



Treatment expertise is important. You know, do they know things about the particular trauma that I have and that I want to unfold? I I’m not going to a relationship counselor or a couples therapist with with my childhood trauma. Like, you know, likewise, somebody isn’t coming to me as a trauma therapist with with looking for couples therapy because I certainly don’t give that. And, you know, so to to being able to find the right person who has the right level of either lived or learned experience and expertise is is really important to being able to find the right therapist, and that’s something that you could find out. From a website, from watching their YouTube channel, from an initial consult over the phone, if they do that, like a twenty minute chat or whatever. That’s when I would work that stuff out. Make sure that, you know, that stuff, their expertise fits what you’re after.



The type of therapy approach that different therapists bring and and work with is important too. From a from an approach point of view, I use three or four different models depending on the client that I that I’m working with. But some of that stuff might suit you and some of that stuff might suit the the stuff that you’re bringing to the table. And so that for that reason, it’s important to being able to find the right therapy approach is actually super, super important and something that a lot of people sort of overlook too. So yeah, being able to find the right therapy approach and the expertise compliant is an important thing.



And then the last one is the most important in some ways. It’s just your personal preference. You know? I’m not everyone’s cup of tea as a therapist or as a person. And that’s okay. You know? Like some people don’t wanna wouldn’t wanna work with me and I wouldn’t wanna work with them. Like, that’s that’s fine. If somebody the personal preference thing can come down to, you know, the cultural background their gender, their the way they speak, do they say fuck and you don’t like that? Do they Do they know somebody who you know? Or have they worked with somebody, you know? Like, oh, there’s there’s millions of different ways that someone can exceed your personal preference. And, you know, it’s important that that that’s an important part for you too. So all of those things are important in being able to find the right therapist and being able able to find the right therapist is a big step towards not making therapy suck.



So this section then I wanna bring in an academic paper that’s sort of evidence based and research based into every chat that that I have on this and for you to maybe able to find this that this paper or at least look at other things that are similar if that if you’re interested in it. This This paper today is from two thousand nineteen. It was written by Eduardo Guehrer, motor and sommos, and it’s The title of the paper is the effectiveness of humor in intervention for psychiatric patients, a systemic review from two thousand and nineteen. And I’ll put in the show notes the link to this paper if you wanna have a look at it. So the reason I’ve chosen this paper is, you know, how to make since the the topic of the day is how to how to make therapy not suck.



Then I think humor and lightness in amongst heaviness is a really good way to do that. This paper reviewed sort of existing literature on the use of humor. And lightness in in banter, you know, in psychiatric intervention and highlights its potential benefits. Right? So the authors noted that humor has been found to increase positive emotions, reduce negative emotions. And improve social functioning in psychiatric patients first of all. So outside of the therapeutic relationship outside of the therapy session, the use of humor and the and the availability of humor around them. And and they look different things, you know, listening to humorous podcasts, watching funny movies, being interacting with funny people, feeling funny themselves and and, you know, or whatever it might be that in in whatever way, humor, they consume humor, they all were found to have really good effects on these are in people who are undergoing a psychiatric illness or undergoing a disservice to the mental health. It was increasing their positive emotions how they spoke about them how they felt about themselves, reducing negative emotions, including blaming and guilt and different things, and and improved how they function socially as well. You know, improve their social functioning people who had a social anxiety, a social phobia, or even, or were just a bit shit at relationships or whatever it might have been that a sense of humor, an introduction, introducing and using humor in their everyday life was was was shown to build this up. It also gave some practical suggestions on how clinicians can use humor effectively in their practice.



Now I don’t I wouldn’t say that I go over the top with this. Certainly in my sessions, a lot of people who I speak with her. They’re speaking to me about some pretty hectic and dark and heavy stuff. And so, you know, telling jokes on the other side isn’t isn’t isn’t isn’t isn’t neither appropriate nor helpful. But being able to see the light side of some pretty dark stuff is actually really helpful. And if I can bring a client to be able to find that, that themselves or or at least support a client who’s going through some stuff and he’s able to find dark humor, you know, gallows humor in it. And may not go, you know, you really shouldn’t joke about that. This is this is serious. That’s actually really beneficial.



In in my practice as well as for me as a therapist and and for for other people as as my client, it might be how you might get some more benefit from your therapy with your therapist as well. You know, using funny anecdotes and jokes to break the ice and build rapport isn’t just something a therapist can do. That’s something you can do as a consumer as well. You know, you can build rapport with your therapist by telling funny jokes. By breaking the ice by saying, you know, I feel a bit nervous about this stuff that we’re talking about. Like, is there a way that we can, you know, I’m gonna tell you something funny. I’m gonna tell you something amusing or humorous that happen because it’s going to make me feel more comfortable in this situation. So you can check that paper out. There’s lots of different research on this as well, you know, but it’s certainly a way to make therapy sunglasses to make it fun. Or as fun as some therapy can be and not every therapist deals with the stuff that I deal with with my clients. So, you know, for a lot of people, it’s it’s a lot more humor is a lot more readily accessible. But even in the most dark stuff with some people, it’s a really good way to make them feel more comfortable about what they’re talking about and — Yeah. — going forward from there. So you can check out that that two thousand nine paper, I’ll put the the notes in the in the show notes, at the link in the show notes below. So on on making therapy more enjoyable going forward from listening to this today.



If you are listening to this and you are in therapy, then you can use some of these things. Otherwise, it might convince you that therapy is the go. You know, that’s an angle that you can take. So the first thing is finding the right therapist. You’ve gotta find the right person for you. You’ve gotta find the person who’s gonna tick your boxes, whatever those boxes are. It’s really important also, I think that you that you recognize that they’re your boxes. They’re not somebody else’s. You’re not trying to find the right therapist for someone else. You’re trying to find the right therapist for you. And that is a really, really important consideration that people gloss over because someone will say, oh, you know, I’ve got this great therapist. You need to speak to them. Here’s their number. And there’s no thought of whether that person is the right person. For them, there’s no thought of right and the right. That therapist is the right therapist for them. And, you know, that’s it’s a super important thing that sometimes gets glossed over in in deference of this person’s really experienced and this person’s really expensive and this person’s really busy. So they must be really good, you know. And then they’re they’re the right person for you. That doesn’t necessarily make that true. So that’s the first thing.



Second thing, some tip to go forward is to set some goals and track pro progress. So for a lot of people when therapy does seem long and frustrating and drawn out because the level of trauma they’ve been through, all the stuff they’re trying to fix is actually really big and heavy and long lasting. So, you know, to be able to set goals, micro goals and track the process between those goals, actually makes therapy a lot more enjoyable too. For you. So, you know, people talk, clothes are often saying to me, I need a plan for next year or for the next five years.



And I’m like, Fuck that. Let’s work out what’s gonna happen in the next two days. What are you gonna do today? You know, what’s what about this week? You know, can we can we sort of micro manage that a little bit more? And and when we can do that, it means that the the client you as a client have something tangible that you can do in a tangible amount of time that you can imagine. Right? I can I can get my head around today out in the next forty eight hours over the next week? Right? I know that. And then it also lets you achieve that. And to be able to tick, I kinda did that. You gave me this goal of I have to I have to have this conversation with my boss, and I have to do it by Tuesday afternoon at four PM, and I Buck and did it, and it was okay. And now I can go on to the next thing. You know, I talk a lot with my clients about eating an elephant. Right? And you don’t need an elephant in one sitting. You just start with a hoof. And and, you know, that’s what we’re what we’re talking about here is to set a little goal and to be able to track the progress and make a tick or put a line through it once you’ve done it. That’s a really good way to start making therapy much more enjoyable for you. Is to segment down your goals into little achievable chunks, eat the elephants slowly. Right?



Another tip going forward is to try and make it routine. As much as you can now this might not help everyone. It certainly helps me is to have my therapy on with a certain person or a certain day at a certain time or whatever, that’s really important to me to do it in the same place in the same way. You know, the majority of therapy the great majority of therapy that I do is on on Zoom or teams or on the phone. It’s not in person. And so that really makes things much more helpful for people who wanna make it a part of their routine because they can do it from their lounge. They can do it while they’re wandering around there. Their house with their headphones in. They can do it on the walk at the beach, whatever. Right? And that’s really important to be able to make it make it routine and make it fit in your routine is really, really, really important. And that’s a tip that might help you going forward too.



Another one is to try different approaches. So not necessarily different therapists, but if a therapy is just been using some cognitive behavioral therapy with you and and you feel like, you know, it’s it’s helping and and you’re being aware of more aware of your triggers and and how you speak about yourself and all those things which which come out of CBT, which are awesome. But, you know, to suggest to your therapist also, is there a different approach that you wanna try? Is there a different way that you won’t do this? Can I think differently about our therapeutic alliance together? Like, what what can we try that’s different so that it doesn’t just become stale or whatever? And, you know, they should be able to be able to adapt and move around and and offer different things to you or at least explain why different things aren’t right now, which is also important. But a different approach is is is often really helpful in being able to change your mindset change their mindset too about you and be able to set those goals as I mentioned before and make things a little bit more helpful and useful in that way.



Keeping an open mind is a good tip going forward, you know, to be able to say, okay, my thoughts on therapy and people who are in therapy and this type of therapy and this therapy statement. I really sat, you know, I’ve got my blinkers on about this. And And that means if you limit your vision going in, you’re you’re potentially going to limit your success coming out, And so I’d really, really strongly support you to keep an open mind as much as you can about therapy and about therapists and and this type of therapy that you’re going through and having it this way on this day. Like, whatever you it’s a bit like the sausage machine. Right? What you put in is what you get out, and it’s just changed and helpful and hopefully positive at the other end. But if you’re going with a closed mind, you come to come out with a closed mind or a closed result. And that’s going to affect, you know, you’re going forward obviously, but it’s going to affect the therapeutic out come of working with the therapist, and that’s potentially not going to be of very helpful either.



Being honest and vulnerable with the therapist is obviously probably the most important thing going in. If you’re going to go in to therapy thinking, well, I’m not going to tell them about this. I’m not going to tell them about that. I’ve got too much shame about that. I’m too embarrassed about that or whatever. Then, you know, you just again, you’re just limiting the outcome. You’re limiting the result. And I would much prefer my clients come and tell me every fucking thing that they have going on. And then we work through it one by one or however we segment it down, then to find out things as I often do in the seventh or eighth session that I didn’t know about. In the first session, which would have been really helpful. Right? So to be totally open and transparent and vulnerable is really hard. And but if you found the right therapist, if it’s happening in the right environment, if you’re prepared to make the changes and do the work, then you’re going to be tucking miles ahead. Miles ahead by the second, third, fourth session going forward.



And the last tip for for me is to take care of yourself outside of therapy. You know, so many times I talk to clients in session. They’re like, okay. Yeah. I’m gonna do that. I’m gonna do that and and whatever. And then you speak to the next week and you’re like, well, have you been speaking about yourself? If that was that was a goal. Right? Oh, you know, not very well. Okay. Well, have you been managing a relationship with this person at work? Oh, not very well, you know.



So It’s not a matter just of doing the homework and doing the work. It’s a matter of taking care of yourself in terms of How do you speak about yourself? How do you care for yourself? Do you do any self care outside of therapy? If if therapy is the only self care you do, then you’re in trouble. Honestly, it’s gonna be really hard for you.



If therapy is one of the things you do in your self care routine, your self care regime, then you’re going to be miles ahead. You’re gonna get more out of your therapy and you’re gonna get more of your life outside of therapy. Right? Taking care of yourself and self care is super super super important. And here’s the thing. Nobody is going to give you permission. To care for yourself more. Nobody is going to give you permission to have more self care routine. To take more time to do this, to that, to to to journal more, to meditate more, to have more therapy, to do whatever it might be. Nobody’s gonna give you permission for that. Nobody but you. And if you don’t take care of yourself on that, if you don’t give yourself permission to do that, then you’re gonna limit your outcome from therapy. You’re gonna limit the the the value of the therapeutic alliance going forward, and that’s gonna limit your life. And you know, You can lose small if you want. You really can.



But I think that sucks. And that’s not what I want for you. I want everyone in my life whether they be personally connected to me or consuming my content or whatever. I want them to be living big you know, I want them to to be happy to make a mark, to go forward, to find the right therapist if that’s what they want for them and then to get the most out of it. But most of all, to be the best version of the self that can be on this day and try to be a little bit better than the next day. And, you know, as as much as we can do that or as long as we can do that, we’re gonna be happy. So that’s why I think therapy doesn’t have to suck. Obviously, I’m a bit biased in that, but, you know, I’m talking about my own therapy that I receive from someone else as much as the therapy that I give to other people. So I hope that helps going forward.



If you have any questions or or anything like that, you wanna submit, please hit me up. Voice messages are really good because I can include them in in the future podcast and we can answer them directly. Because going forward, I do wanna have a little bit of a q and a section of these these these podcast episodes. So Yeah. Let’s let’s build this thing together. I’m really stoked to be in this space and to be doing finally doing what I wanna do in this space, which this is totally it. So, yeah, if you have any feedback, I’d love to to get that. You can hit me up on all the channels, ethnic Badish across all the socials. Or nickbatterish dot com, you can you can hit me up there on my website. And, yeah, let’s let’s start to build this thing together. Send me any voice memos want any questions, any feedback. I’d love to hear that. And let’s get started. Let’s get keep moving forward with these and Yeah. Hopefully, we can make a bit of a difference.



Alright. Have a great day wherever you are. Do the best version yourself whatever you’re doing. Here. Here. Thank you for listening to this episode of the reboot of Tecnidec I really appreciate your support and I’ll stoked to have you as part of my audio time. If you like what I’m doing here, please speak about leaving a comment or giving me a five of you on whatever you are listening to me on. It really helps, and I do really good. In front of me, I am ethnic Badish Crystal Associates. All of this website at w w w dot nickboutage dot com. You can send me a voice message or any questions you would like to answer. Any needs could be featured in upcoming This track is a good person by the top winds, incidental music also supplied by a sales poor music.