This is my follow-up book to Reboot Your Thinking.

We almost always tend to put everyone else first, putting their needs and desires and, sometimes, even their happiness and feelings before our own. And in this book, I challenge that thinking, and talk about how this codependence that so many us live with, is actually holding us back from being the best version of ourselves.

This book is challenging and talks about difficult concepts for many of us, but I hope that you enjoy it and can see how thinking differently about our own value and importance is so important.



From the time when I was very little, I was told that ‘the world didn’t revolve around me’.

I grew up believing that being ‘selfish’ – whatever I thought that was – was one of the worst things I could be. If nobody was selfish, then everyone would get enough of what they wanted, and everyone would live happily ever after.

Well, it didn’t quite work out that way. Not for me, and not for many people in my generation who were taught the same thing.

I put everyone’s needs and wants before my own, and even before my own physical (and spiritual) safety. It wasn’t just me though, of course. My whole generation did that. And my parents’ generation. And their parents.

But I don’t want that for my kids.

I want my kids to know that they don’t have to get their esteem from anyone, or anything, else. I want them to know that their value was equal to any other human baby born on the same day as them, and that won’t ever change. I want them to know that their primary concern in life should first be about themselves, everyone else in their life – including me – can be considered after they consider themselves.

And I want them to know that no matter what kind of relationship they find themselves in, or who they find themselves in a relationship with, they will still be the most important person in their own lives, and should always put themselves first.

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